Your Fear of Being "Salesy" is Why You Aren't Making Sales

Aug 13

Okay, raise your hand if you can relate:
You want to have more leads, you want to book more clients, you want to make more money, but you “don't want to come off as salesy”.
Is your hand raised?

Because I'm willing to bet 90%, if not more of you are raising your hands right now. And listen, I get it. We have all been on the other side of a bad sales experience, right? Like an icky car salesman, maybe someone going door to door selling solar panels and they blatantly ignore the no soliciting sign on the front porch, or the random DM you got from the girl you went to high school with and you haven't talked to in over a decade. Yeah, we have all been there.

But here's the thing. Not all sales are good sales, and not all sales are bad sales either.

Sales is actually neutral. If you think about it, it's really our thoughts and experiences that shape how we view sales. In fact, I actually heard one time that if you have a bad experience with a salesperson, you call them a bad salesperson, but when you have a good experience with a salesperson, people just call them a good person, right? They don't even recognize that they're being sold to, or if they do, they actually are delighted to be sold to because the person has a solution for their problem, and they aren't pushy, gross, or weird about it because sales doesn't have to be that way.

But here's the deal, if you're afraid of selling or you “don't want to come off as salesy”, you are going to miss opportunities because what will happen is you just won't sell at all. And not selling at all is directly correlated to you not booking clients or making sales. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

You have to talk about what you are selling to get people to buy. If someone doesn't know what you have to offer, how will they ever know that they can buy it from you if you have a product or hire you if you are offering a service like being a virtual assistant, copywriter, etc.?

So you might be thinking, all right, Kate, I get it, but how do I get over this idea of selling and like not seeing it as gross? And to be honest, that's the easy part, right? Sales is definitely a skill. It's something that you have to work on. It's something you have to really practice, but the mindset shift of “I don't want to sell” is really quite simple.

You ask yourself two questions:

1. What Does This Person Need or Want?

2. Can I Help Them?

See, the thing about sales is that it will only feel gross if you make it about you and sales isn't about you. It's about them. What do they need and how can you help them? You've probably heard the tired phrase, “it's not selling, it's serving”. And to be honest, I kind of roll my eyes every time I hear that now, even when I was someone who used to say it because it makes it sound like sales isn't about service when really that's exactly what it is.

Sales is serving, right? They're not mutually exclusive. It's not either or, because when people need something or they have a problem and you can provide a solution for them by them buying it from you or by them hiring you, that's helping them. That is what service is all about.

This goes for marketing on social media, creating content, messaging with potential clients, discovery calls, email marketing, in-person conversations, you name it. Actually one example that is totally outside of business that might help you kind of wrap your head around this idea is when I was looking for a new bible. I had my eye on this spiral bound one, but I really wasn't sure about it because it wasn't a study Bible where there's extra content inside of it. It had a lot of room for note taking, which is something I was really looking for because I take a lot of notes in my Bible and my current Bible, its pages are just getting filled with notes and I have no more room. So I really needed something with some wider margins. But I also wanted something that still had the study component that still gave some context because I think that really helps with reading the Bible.

So I texted my friend who I knew had a spiral bound Bible. So I asked her, do you have one and which one do you have? And she was like, yeah, I do, but honestly, I've been loving this other one. So she sent me the link to the other one that she's been using and she said depending on what you're looking for, I like this one more because it's (you guessed it) a study Bible and it has large margins with a lot of place to take notes. Okay. So this solved my problem.
It just checked all the boxes so I went ahead and bought it.

That right there is an example of a sales conversation. My friend didn't know that she was “selling” to me. She was just giving me a recommendation based on what I was looking for, and it sold me. I mean, that's basically what influencers do on social media. The best influencers are going to show you a product that they love and how it solves a problem that they had, or it helps them get an outcome that they desired, and then tell you why and how it will help you too. If you like them or you trust them, or you have this problem where you want the same outcome, you're going to buy it. That is sales.

Another experience that was actually related to business, and it happened just a couple of months ago. Was before I moved into our new house…which little life update…we've officially moved into our new house in Idaho, and I'm so happy! I was talking with like a couple of the moms in our new community that we had met and one of the moms who is now like one of my best friends said something about wanting to do something on the side or make money from home. She is someone who is home with her kids. She is a stay-at-home mom and she also homeschools four children. She was just looking for a way to make money from home.

She was having this conversation and obviously my whole mission with Your Behind the Scenes BFF and everything that I do is about helping women make money from home. So in that moment I was just like, “Hey, you know, that's like exactly what I do, right?” And she was like, “What do you mean?” I said, “I actually teach women how to become virtual assistants because I was stay at home mom. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and make money from home. So I became a VA and now I help other people do the same thing”. So we talked about it a little bit over the next couple of weeks, and she ended up joining our last cohort for beginner to book VA. She was actually the very first person to sign up.

We just talked about how crazy it is that just that random day, that random conversation, I was in her driveway and she was talking about the thing that she was desiring. And I had the solution for her. A lot of people wouldn't look at that as sales, but to be honest, that is sales, right? I wasn't trying to “sell” her. I was just telling her, “Hey, I actually like have this that could help you, and this is actually exactly what I do. And no pressure!”

When it comes to sales, especially when you've been doing it as long as I have, I'm not tied to an outcome. I'm not going to be devastated if someone doesn't buy or get my hopes up. I'm not going to make it about me. I'm going to make it about them. That's the whole point of sales. I'm going to listen to what it is they are talking about and if I can help them, it would be a disservice if I didn't say, “Hey, I don't know if you thought about this, but this might be something that can help you. If not totally cool.”

I think that when you're talking about your offer and what you have in a way that helps people solve their problem or get what they want most and is helpful, people don't think about it as sales because some people have a negative connotation around sales, but it is helpful and it is sales. So many people will be quick to share like an Amazon find or something else that has helped them in their life. Right?

I know that I've turned so many of my friends and family onto the Uncrustable cutter that I use for the boys, PB and J's. You can make some uncrustables from home, and it’s not as expensive which it's awesome. Like you should totally get it! That's sales. And so many of us will be quick to do that because it's like, “Oh, well this helped me and this is going to help you.” But then we're scared. It's going to come off as salesy when it's our own business, right?

Because a lot of times, honestly, you're making it about you.

That's not always a bad thing. Most of the time, it's not on purpose and it's not a bad thing because business is personal, especially if you're a VA or you have a side hustle you're wanting to grow to help you either make ends meet or provide for your family. Obviously, it's about that. That's your why. But your sales and how you interact with people when it comes to talking about what you offer should be about them. When it is about them, it doesn't feel so weird because your mission is to help them, right?

So here's the deal, friend.
You need to talk about your offer.
You need to tell people what you're doing.
You need to tell people that you can help them.

And sure, not every conversation will turn into a sale or a contract signed, but you'll be top of mind the next time they think about that when they want to solve that thing or they want to accomplish it. Stop letting fear of being salesy keep you from not making sales and remind yourself that what you have is good and there are people out there right now looking for it. They just don't know that you have the thing, righ? It's up to you to make it known that you have the thing.

Hopefully this gave you some encouragement and it helped you change your mindset around sales. I'm expecting all of y'all to go out today and talk about what you do, whether it's posting on social media, it's telling a couple of friends about what you're doing, it's sharing with that person that shared that they were looking for the exact thing that you do and you just kept your mouth shut because you didn't want to be weird.

Go out there and talk about who and how you help. That is your mission. It's honestly your duty and responsibility to do that.
As always, I'm rooting for you!