How to Prioritize Rest (Yes, Even as a Mom)
Let’s talk about REST. And listen, old me used to scoff at the thought of “rest.” It’s easy to forgo rest when you’re a mom, especially if you’re a new mom. Even if you’re going through transitions such as sleepless nights or fighting naps- it can be really hard to prioritize rest, but I’m here to say it’s not impossible. When you think of “rest” most people would think of sleep, which is one part of it but actually a small part because here, rest can be whatever “fills your cup” let’s say, and doing things that make you feel re-energized.
When I’ve looked at this idea of rest as a bigger concept than just a nap, or sleep, it’s been interesting, and over the last couple years, I have learned there are 7 TYPES OF REST. So I’m going to share with you these 7 types of rest to help you lean into what type of rest you actually need. There was an article I found (linked here) while researching for this blog, by a doctor who studies rest and is an expert who said, “Recharging yourself by getting proper rest requires recognizing the exact rest you need.” - Dr. Dalton-Smith. So if you need rest and want to feel recharged and reenergized, and if you’re only thinking of rest as sleep or a nap, then you’re really doing yourself a disservice.
So let’s talk about the 7 types of rest.
Physical Rest
Mental Rest
Emotional Rest
Sensory Rest
Creative Rest
Social Rest
Spiritual Rest
So like I mentioned, it is SO important to understand what type of rest you need to actually feel – yep you guessed it - RESTED.
If you need social or creative rest, but you take a nap or you know, 8 hours of sleep and you are like – “okay wait but I am still exhausted” it’s likely that you aren’t getting the kind of rest that you actually need (and I mean if above all else if that still isn’t working it’s worth bringing it up to a doctor because there might be some hormonal stuff going on too which I know because I deal with that but I digress lol).
So we are going to go over what each of these types of rest are, and then what you could do in your life to actually implement these different types of rest or at least figure out which one you need the most, even if that looks different day to day.
Physical Rest
So physical rest can look like the obvious of taking a nap or physically resting in the traditional sense, but it also can look like movement! Maybe taking a walk, doing yoga, stretching, etc! Whatever is restful and restorative in a physical way.
For me, sometimes that is legit taking a nap. My 13-month-old doesn’t sleep through the night and my toddler gets up at 6 am on the dot SO sometimes, your girl is tired and needs a nap during my kid’s nap. But sometimes, it is taking a walk, or just moving my body in a way that feels really good, even if it is WITH my kids. We are going to get into social rest shortly but rest doesn’t have to look like resting ALONE. It really is more about feeling rested and rejuvenated and whatever that looks like for you!
Mental Rest
Mental rest is important to let your mind chill. Idk about you but my brain has a hard time turning off. And I think most of us can relate to even having decision fatigue and we just need to stop thinking for a little bit OR find ways to process our thoughts. So some ways that you can practice mental rest would be to journal, or even read a fiction book that you love… it can look different for everyone on what feels mentally relaxing for you. I also find that if I have a heavy workday and my brain needs a break I literally take a “Brain break.” My teachers or former teachers get this – when I was a teacher we gave “brain breaks” to our students all the time so maybe in between subjects or assignments or when you could tell the class was getting a little worn out, having a 5-10 minute break to dance or play a little game or listen to music quietly was what we needed to jump right back into things.
Well, I do that for myself too haha. I work really well with timers, so I will set a timer for X amount of minutes and then I will take a 5-10 minute break, and usually during that break, since I work from home, I will switch laundry, or clean something up, or organize something – it gives me the mental rest I need because those tasks don’t take up a lot of mental energy for me, and then I am able to jump back into things easier!
Emotional Rest
If you are in need of emotional rest it could really look like feeling overwhelmed with your emotions or just feeling ALL of the feelings and that is straight-up exhausting. And I tell you what, this really hits for me during the newborn stage or just general transitions with the kids. I think as moms we also tend to take on the emotions of our kids because obviously we love and care for them so when they are upset or frustrated we can feel that too. So not only are we tired from our own emotions, but we are tired from trying to carry the emotions of our littles! Emotional rest is really needed and can just look like texting a friend, or talking to your partner about how you are feeling, and also – just surrounding yourself with people who bring you emotional peace. I just really don’t have the capacity for people who don’t make me feel good when I am around them because of the emotional exhaustion I know I personally experience, so making sure who I surround myself with is supportive in my life vs. draining.
Sensory Rest
I think most of us can relate to feeling overstimulated from time to time amiright? Okay that is where sensory rest comes into play. As humans, we are inundated with sensory overload every day ESPECIALLY moms. So it’s important to have moments of your day where you aren’t listening to anything, you aren’t looking or reading anything, you are just being ya know?
Creative Rest
Okay so this one is kind of deceiving in my opinion but this doesn’t mean you have to be a creative person to exercise creative REST. Creative rest is really about doing things that inspire you. This could look like going to a park or being out in nature, this could look like working on a creative project if you are creative yourself – even coloring a coloring page with your kids is creative rest if that is something that is calming and grounding for you! Also, my environment has a lot to do with how I feel so decluttering or organizing, or changing up the way the room looks and feels can be a form of creative rest! My older sister (hey Emily) is amazing at interior design and I think that if you asked her if she finds it restful, she would say yes. It’s something that inspires her and reenergizes her and that is what it is all about!
Social Rest
This one is so interesting to me BECAUSE this is when it is important to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert. So I really think I am an introvert *for the most part*. I have to have time to myself to recharge but that is because when I am around others, I give it all I’ve got, especially Mom’s Day Out events because they are SO life-giving to me. I feel so filled up and renewed when I get to hang out with y’all in real life or even on Zoom or whatever but then I do need downtime to rest and recharge for sure. And again I think who you are spending time with can have an effect on this too!
So if you are someone who gains energy by being around people you might want to call up a friend who is really uplifting and supportive to get coffee and that might help you feel most rested, or if you are someone who gains energy solo, taking some time for yourself, even if it is 20 min after the kids go to bed, would be beneficial for you! I feel like for me it just depends on the day, my mood, and who I am around!!
Spiritual Rest
This one is pretty self-identifying I feel like but this is for your spirit. So this article that I will link in the show notes says, “If you’re feeling afloat, unanchored, afraid or alone, you may need to recharge with some spiritual rest.”
I am a Christian so connecting with God and praying and getting into the Word and understanding scripture really is restful for me. I was just sharing with a friend the other day how I feel like the days or mornings we go to church, or have bible study, or I just spend 20 min in the Word on my own, my days just go better! I have more patience, I am calmer, I am more RESTED. I know that I am not alone, I know what the Lord promises, and I get to rest in that and that is a beautiful thing!
This obviously can look different for everyone but it could look like prayer, meditation, breathwork, reading scripture, etc! Whatever you need for your spirit!
So now that we know this, how do you prioritize it? Especially when you are a busy mom and you wear a lot of hats and you have a lot of stuff going on – I get it. And I feel like we live in a world where self-care and rest have almost become these buzzwords where I am like WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ya know?! Haha!
First things first, rest shouldn’t feel like another thing you have to complete on your to-do list. However, I think sometimes you do have to schedule it and plan for it at least in the beginning if you aren’t used to prioritizing rest!
For me, if something isn’t on my calendar, it isn’t happening. So I schedule my rest in. Whether it’s a workout class, a walk, a date night with my husband, a coffee meet-up with a mom friend… whatever it is, I have to make it a priority by planning for it.
But sometimes you can’t plan for it, sometimes you just need a break and you just need some rest … and sometimes you need it right freaking now.
In that case, I think figuring out, “Okay what TYPE of rest do I need” or at least thinking about what kinds of rest you typically need so you can take the decision out in the moment and just know that these are your go-to ways for resting, and then picking something kinda from a menu of sorts!
So what I would love for you to do, and this is something I actually did too – was with each type of rest, I wrote down 1-3 things that I can do throughout the day to give that to myself. I am going to read them to you so that hopefully it can give you some ideas but also I want you to remember that these are things I find helpful and restful for ME! And that yours might look different and it might take some time to figure out what those things are, but hopefully these give you a starting point.
Okay so for physical rest:
✿ A walk outside listening to worship music or a podcast
✿ Taking a 20-30 min power nap after the kids go down for their nap before I start working
✿ Playing pickleball
Mental rest:
✿ Reading a fiction book for 15-20 minutes
✿ Prayer or meditation
✿ Journaling/brain dumping
Emotional Rest:
✿ Therapy
✿ Talking with my husband or a close friend about how I have been feeling
✿ Calling my mom
Sensory Rest:
✿ Taking a hot shower in silence
✿ Prayer or meditation
✿ Shutting down screens an hour before bed / having screen time limits on my phone
Creative Rest:
✿Working on a creative project like graphics or website or designing merch
✿ Pinterest board planning rooms in my home
✿ Reorganizing a room in my home
Social Rest:
✿ Playing with my kids uninterrupted – and I actually did want to expand on this one because I have started to notice that when I feel overstimulated or I feel really on edge or like I am losing patience, I set my timer on my watch for 15 minutes and I put my phone away, turn off the tv or music or whatever, stop doing chores or doing things around the house – and I just get down on the floor with my kids and do 15 min of completely uninterrupted play time and I fell SO much better afterward. Because here is the thing, it’s never really my kids that are causing that overwhelm, it’s everything ON TOP OF the needs of my children. The chores, the notifications, the tech, all of that. This has actually been a lesson that’s changed my life and really wanted to share that nugget with you.
✿ Ask a friend to get coffee and/or go on a walk
Spiritual Rest:
✿ Prayer, quiet time, bible study
✿ Listening to worship music
So that is my little menu – something that I can look at or use when I am trying to figure out what I need in terms of rest and I can either plan these things into my calendar or I can implement them fairly quickly right like most of these things can be done in pockets of our day which is really what most of us need! So I highly recommend coming up with a little menu yourself and I actually would love to hear what you find restful and what you want to focus on. So if you are not a part of our Facebook community PLEASEEEE join us! I will link it in the show notes and let’s chat over there about this conversation and see if we can help each other out with other ideas to try because I am sure we could all use a little rest, especially right now going into fall and soon the holiday season.
Well, that is it for me today, I hope this was helpful and I hope it inspired you to prioritize rest for yourself and in your home!! I know this is not my strongest quality so I am trying to do a better job of this for sure.
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